Put simply, humans have destroyed the Earth. While some blame cow poots and others point to solar storms, I know for a fact that the Chevy Impala behind me -- and millions of vehicles like it -- are solely, completely responsible for warming the Earth.RTWT. IT'S HILARIOUS. AND HAS PICTURES!
... Scientists tell us that over the next five years, sea levels will rise by as much as three hundred feet. ... When that happens, millions of folks like you and me will have to leave their Malibu beach homes and migrate to the Midwest. Yes. They'll have to immigrate to... ... ... Red states. No tofu. No pet spas. And lots of pickup trucks. Oh, the humanity. ...
But there's a way you can make a difference.
We've found a way that you can pollute all you want.
Yep, you heard me right. Pollute all you want.
... With our amazing new product, Carbon Offsets™, you can pollute guilt-free!