The Politically Correct "Christmas Song"

(With apologies to Torme-Wells)

Chestnuts roasting on an catalytically-converted non-polluting fire
Jack or Jill Frost nipping at your nose,
Yuletide carols – that don’t mention Christianity - being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like the Inuit.

Everybody knows some tofu and some re-plantable mistletoe
Help to make the season bright
Tiny tots – on over-prescribed Ritalin - with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight –

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys
And goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer – an endangered species we hope Santa is not mistreating -
really know how to fly.

And so, I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although its been said
Many times, many ways
Happy Holidays, happy holidays, happy holidays to you!

BTW: I'm a Jew - who grew up in the radically chic Left-wing "gilded ghetto" of Great Neck, NY - singing religious Christmas Carols in the PUBLIC school choir - and enjoying it! I think that, just as many on the Left are not merely anti-War; they're on the other side - so too are they not merely secularist; they're anti-Christian. I think that many on the Left actually oppose traditional middle-class practices and beliefs (from Christmas Carols, creches, to hetero-sexual marriage, the work ethic, and the concept of personal accountability) in order to replace them with their atheistic, socialistic, utopianistic ideology. And I say: Screwge them!

To all my Christian friends, I say: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

MORE HERE. UPDATE: And a cute photo here.